This post is about one of the most powerful, simple, and practical transformational tools I’ve come across: Blessing.
It’s transformational in that it alters our experience of life on a dime.
It’s also a deeply spiritual practice, and it always gets me back in touch with Spirit.
Blessing is a practice of catch-and-replace.
First, you’ve got to catch your judgments and your fears.
She’s driving too fast!
He’s driving too slow!
The weather is too hot.
It’s too humid.
I don’t like feeling this way.
I want to feel another way.
He’s always annoyed.
She’s always so mean.
What if I make a mistake?
What if he gets hurt?
What if she gets lost?
It’s easy to see that these thoughts are weighted. They’re judgments.
We’re so judgmental! We judge others. We judge the weather. We judge situations. We judge history. We judge the world. We judge the universe.
We judge strangers without knowing them. We judge people we know because we think we really know them.
We judge ourselves too - our bodies, our minds, our hearts, our actions.
Judging is one of the chief things that humans do, and we do it out of fear.
Some of our judgments are light and empty. Others are heavy and significant.
Here’s the root of the problem when it comes to our judgments:
We confuse our thinking about things for the things themselves. We live and be as if our judgments are the truth! And we call that discernment. We call it maturity. We call it experience.
What it actually is: condemning judgment.
And our judgments aren’t just negative - we have positive judgments too (they’re just usually less destructive).
So the powerful and simple spiritual practice of Blessing begins with catching the veil of judgment you are nearly always looking through.
After catching, the next step is to replace.
Blessing is a version of positive thinking, but it's much, much deeper.
Our thoughts have energy - they aren't innocent. While our judgmental thoughts have a destructive energy, blessings have a constructive energy.
I find that I cannot bless another person without tapping into the deeper part of my own being. I cannot bless another person without accessing genuine compassion for them. I cannot bless another without accessing a bit of Divine grace being gifted to me.
Here’s an example of how it works. Since driving is one of the places we can catch many obvious judgments of others, I’ll use driving as an example.
Someone pulls out in front of me and drives below the speed limit.
I feel frustration build as a consequence of judgments… (Frustration is a beacon that points towards the judgments that cause it.)
First, I notice the feeling and then catch the judgements: "They shouldn’t drive that way! They’re too slow. They’re oblivious. They’re selfish. They’re rude. They’re inconsiderate."
Second, I replace the judgements with blessings. I bless you. I wish you well. I wish you health and well-being. I wish you safety, satisfaction, ease, and enjoyment. I bless you with expanding awareness of others. I wish you kindness from others, and I wish others kindness from you. I bless your journey, and I bless your life.
I grew up thinking that Blessing was something that only God or clergy could do. But blessing is something we can all do!
Where judgment cultivates frustration, blessing cultivates love and connection.
Where judgment cultivates hatred, blessing cultivates compassion.
Where judgment condemns, blessing forgives.
Where judgment happens automatically and defensively, blessing can only happen with intentionality and generosity.
Consider this: if we can judge others and ourselves so easily and so frequently, perhaps we can also love others and ourselves more easily. Blessing is a direct access to this state of being.
Blessing transmutes judgment and fear into compassion and love.
We can use Blessing at any time and in any circumstance. And we can even bless ourselves.
In addition to blessing throughout the day, the last thing I do each evening before I fall asleep is bless my family, myself, and as many others and as much of the universe as I can get to. I'm so grateful for the opportunity to master this gentle art.
Much Love. ❤️
P.S. If you're interested in further exploring the power and practice Blessing, besides working with me I recommend the book The Gentle Art of Blessing by Pierre Pradervand.
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