My insecurities aren’t special. You’re insecurities aren’t special either.
There's nothing special about our insecurities.
We think our insecurities mean something real and significant about us. We think they’re justified in some way.
We often think we're the only ones who feel insecure. Like our suffering in life is special and therefore our insecurities are real. Like we've been tainted.
No one is immune from insecurity. Sometimes the most confident-seeming of us, or the most decisive, or the most expressed are the most insecure.
At worst, we live at the effect of our insecurities. At best, we think we have to fight through our insecurities.
What most of us never learn about insecurity, however, is that the source of insecurity is insecure thinking.
We humans have a built-in safety warden: insecure thinking. It’s subtle and effective, and while nearly every one of us can point to it and talk about it, we almost NEVER recognize it in the moment when it’s actually impacting our lives.
It surprises me every single time when I see it for myself. It surprises my clients when they see it at work in their lives.
Insecure thinking is so simple, it’s so subtle, and it’s so powerful.
Insecure thinking can make me feel wary and untrusting:
I don’t really belong here.
They can’t really like me.
They must be exaggerating.
Everyone else is in on something that I don’t understand.
I’m missing something.
They probably make fun of me behind my back.
They think I look funny.
Do they think I’m weird?
I’m naive.
I’m embarrassing.
Insecure thinking can constrain my self-expression:
I shouldn’t say that.
I shouldn’t do that.
I couldn’t do that.
That will turn out badly!
That's dumb.
I'm too loud.
I don't know what I'm doing.
What if they misunderstand me?
I might stumble over my words.
I might be wrong.
I might look stupid.
Insecure thinking really does serve an important purpose: to keep us safe - physically, emotionally, and socially. However, it’s an outdated method for doing so.
In most cases in our lives where insecure thinking veils our experience of our lives, that thinking is founded on a lie: that we can ever be hurt.
Who we are and who we can be is so much more than insecure thinking will EVER allow us to see. We are much more than our insecure thinking, and we are capable of so much more than our insecure thinking will allow us to see.
Fortunately for us, there are powerful ways to live unconstrained by insecure thinking. Here’s one…
First) Identify insecure thinking for what it is - limiting, judgmental thinking designed to keep us right where we are, even if it’s uncomfortable, unsatisfying, or inauthentic.
Second) See that insecure thinking has NEVER actually stopped us or blocked us. Our relationship to insecure thinking is what stops us.
Third) Insecure thinking loses its grip on us, it’s power over us, when we take inspired action.
We are so much more than our insecure thoughts. Stop empowering insecure thinking. Instead, empower inspired, passionate, and creative thinking. Then take inspired action.
Insecure thinking has never stopped us. We’ve stopped us. Now share a dream, commit to a vision, and take inspired action.
Call a friend, get in community, hire a coach - you've got dreams for yourself, others, and the planet. Share those dreams and get in action fulfilling them.
Insecure thinking pales in comparison to the inspired dreams and visions we are ALL capable of.
Thanks so much for reading. ❤️
P.S. If you'd like to explore how coaching with me can free you from the constraints of your insecurities and unlock your fullest capacity to create a better future for yourself and others, schedule a free conversation.
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