In my early 20s, I went to see a Finnish movie with a couple friends. There was a rape scene in it, and I got triggered. I left the theater right away and sat outside, feeling disturbed.
I didn’t have the tools then to navigate challenging feelings and thinking, so I couldn’t grow in my awareness and resilience going forward.
Instead, I began to identify with my trigger.
This meant that conversations, news, and even history lessons about rape or sex would lead me to feel anxious.
And then I learned how to be an Emotional Adult.
I’ve got triggers. You’ve probably got triggers too. Most of us have triggers. These triggers point to something within us - our subconscious, our memories, our fears, and even our values and commitments.
But getting triggered doesn’t help! In fact, getting triggered gets in the way of what we’re really after.
Getting triggered is an example of emotional childhood. When we’re in emotional childhood, we emotionally react to our circumstances as if something is happening to us.
Emotional childhood isn’t just for children. In fact, ALL of us can be emotional children some or all of the time - it just means we’re living at the effect of our circumstances.
This is part of the critically important education missing in schools: how to be emotional adults.
Emotional adulthood doesn’t mean we don’t have triggers - it just means that we don’t get triggered.
When circumstances arise that poke our triggers, emotional adults have the means to allow our thoughts and feelings to be, without needing to react. By not reacting, we get to move beyond them to what really matters to us.
So many of us haven’t grown up yet, emotionally. We blame the people around us. We justify being dishonest. We freak out at the dumbest things.
Yes, we too can be quite the emotional children, but something else is possible.
If you are serious about being your best…
If you are serious about positively impacting others…
If you are serious about making the world a better place…
Then you’ve got to start with yourself. Learn how to be trigger-proof, and you’ll be unconstrained in how you get to show up to the things that matter most to you.
“Lasting solutions to outward conflicts are possible only to the extent that we find real solutions to our inner ones.” - The Anatomy of Peace
Thanks so much or reading. 🙏❤️
P.S. As a transformational coach, I help people and organizations move beyond their self-imposed limitations to be their best and feel amazing. If you’re interested in finding out how I can support you or your organization, reach out and let’s talk. 💌